The Kid is closing in on a first-team return and sharpening his free-kicks when The Boss interrupts with a very different training assignment.
Gareth Bale has been described as the fastest footballer in the world, but The Boss is not convinced by the survey. He wants The Kid to measure the evidence himself—one hundred metres, a stopwatch and a line of cones.
Back on the Training Ground
The Kid’s rehabilitation is progressing well and he is beginning to look like a footballer ready to return.
He is practising set-pieces when The Boss calls him over with a job.
The Boss has noticed that fantasy football players appear obsessed with free-kicks, corners and penalties. Goals and assists mean points, so dead-ball specialists attract plenty of attention.
For once, however, The Boss is more interested in pace.
A Job for The Kid
The assignment is simple.
The Kid must collect cones, mark out one hundred metres and time the fastest players at the club.
It is not quite the glamorous return to first-team football he imagined, but it gives him a useful role while his recovery continues.
It also provides The Boss with something more reliable than another football survey.
Is Gareth Bale the Fastest?
The conversation begins with Gareth Bale, The Kid’s Welsh teammate and one of the quickest players in European football.
Bale’s pace had become central to his reputation. His ability to accelerate into space, carry the ball at speed and leave defenders behind made him one of Madrid’s most dangerous attacking players.
A survey had recently named him the fastest footballer in the world.
The Boss remains sceptical.
Questioning the Survey
The Kid has seen the same rankings, but he immediately points out that the list appears questionable.
Some unexpected names feature near the top, while other obvious candidates are missing.
Speed comparisons in football are rarely straightforward. One survey may measure a player’s maximum sprint speed, another may use match data and another may rely on short bursts recorded in training.
The Boss prefers a stopwatch.
Football Speed Is Not Just a Race
Running quickly over one hundred metres does not automatically make somebody the most effective fast footballer.
Players must accelerate with the ball, change direction, react to opponents and maintain control while moving at speed.
A winger may reach a lower maximum speed than a sprinter but still look quicker during a match because of timing and movement.
The Kid’s test may settle one argument, but it will not answer every question.
The Mentor
Before organising the race, The Kid contacts somebody who understands speed better than almost anyone.
His mentor is inspired by Usain Bolt, the multiple Olympic champion and world-record sprinter.
If The Kid is going to judge the fastest footballers, speaking to the fastest man on Earth appears sensible.
It also gives him the confidence to believe he can organise the test properly.
A Clean Pair of Heels
By the end of the strip, The Kid is ready to demonstrate what he has learned.
He promises to show the runners a “clean pair of heels”, combining sprinting language with another understated football expression.
Whether The Kid is supposed to time the race or take part in it is less clear.
As usual, he may have interpreted The Boss’s instructions in the way that suits him best.
The Football Inspiration Behind the Comic
This episode was inspired by football speed rankings that placed Gareth Bale among the quickest players in the world.
Bale’s pace had already become famous through his performances in England, Spain and international football. His long-striding runs and ability to accelerate past defenders made him an obvious candidate for any discussion about football’s fastest player.
Storybook turns that debate into a practical training-ground experiment, with The Boss rejecting the survey and asking The Kid to produce his own results.
Characters Featured
The Kid
The Kid is nearing a return from injury and wants to prove he is ready. Instead of joining full training immediately, he is given responsibility for measuring the squad’s pace.
The Boss
The Boss distrusts the published rankings and prefers direct evidence. His solution is simple: cones, one hundred metres and somebody else holding the stopwatch.
Gareth Bale
The Welsh forward is at the centre of the debate after being identified as one of football’s fastest players. His speed is unquestioned, even if the precise ranking is not.
The Mentor
Inspired by Usain Bolt, The Kid’s mentor offers the ultimate reference point for any conversation about sprinting and raw pace.
Behind the Gag
The Boss asks The Kid to conduct a speed test.
The Kid calls the fastest man in the world for advice.
He then appears more interested in beating the players than timing them.
The assignment was supposed to produce reliable data.
It may instead produce another race.
Looking Back
Originally published in 2015, The Fastest Footballer on Earth captured the growing use of performance data and player rankings in football discussions.
It also continued The Kid’s rehabilitation storyline by returning him to the training ground and giving him an active role around the first team.
The next episode moves away from sprint tests and towards a very different subject: property in Los Angeles.
