Jeff Bezos decides that buying a stake in Liverpool is not enough. He also wants to send the club a present.
Unfortunately for Anfield, his idea of a thoughtful delivery appears to involve Memphis Depay, Jadon Sancho, Paul Pogba and a managerial suggestion that leaves Liverpool wondering whether Bezos has confused them with somebody else.
Musk Wants to Know the Plan
The story begins rather a long way from Anfield.
Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos are standing on Mars discussing Bezos’ latest investment.
Musk has one obvious question:
“So… what are you going to do with Liverpool?”
Bezos appears to have already thought about it.
He has decided to send them a present.
Special Delivery to Anfield
Bezos activates an Amazon-style delivery system.
The destination is unmistakable:
Liverpool FC. Anfield.
A huge parcel launches from Mars towards Earth while Musk watches with growing curiosity.
He asks what Bezos has actually bought them.
The answer is waiting inside the box.
Three Familiar Faces
The package arrives at Anfield and opens.
Out step three footballers:
- Memphis Depay.
- Jadon Sancho.
- Paul Pogba.
Bezos’ hologram proudly announces:
“I got you a nice present now I’ve bought a stake.”
There is just one small problem.
All three names carry rather strong Manchester United associations.
Liverpool Spot the Problem
The Liverpool players do not look particularly grateful.
The reaction is immediate:
“You do know who they played for?”
Virgil van Dijk and his teammates appear less than convinced by Bezos’ recruitment strategy.
What Bezos sees as a generous gift looks rather different from an Anfield perspective.
Bezos Has One More Idea
Back on Mars, Musk appears unimpressed.
Bezos, however, has not finished.
He has another name in mind.
This time it is not a player.
A screen appears showing Louis van Gaal.
Bezos smiles and delivers the final suggestion:
“I was thinking Van Gaal as manager too.”
The Manchester United Connection
The joke is built around Bezos appearing completely unaware that his Liverpool shopping list looks suspiciously like a collection of Manchester United memories.
Depay joined United under Louis van Gaal.
Pogba returned to Old Trafford in one of the most expensive transfers in football history.
Sancho later became another major United signing.
By the time Van Gaal himself appears as Bezos’ proposed manager, the pattern is impossible to miss.
Characters Featured
Jeff Bezos
Bezos is delighted with his new involvement at Liverpool and immediately tries to improve the club through the power of online shopping.
Unfortunately, his football recruitment algorithm appears to need some work.
Elon Musk
Musk plays the straight man.
He asks the obvious questions while Bezos proudly reveals increasingly questionable ideas.
By the final panel, even Musk seems unsure whether Bezos fully understands what he has bought.
Memphis Depay
Depay appears as the first piece of Bezos’ surprise delivery.
His Manchester United past makes him an immediate source of confusion at Anfield.
Jadon Sancho
Sancho joins the package as another expensive name strongly associated with Old Trafford.
His inclusion helps Liverpool realise that Bezos may be shopping from the wrong club’s history.
Paul Pogba
Pogba completes the trio.
His return to Manchester United was one of the defining transfers of his era, making his arrival inside an Amazon box addressed to Liverpool particularly difficult to explain.
Louis van Gaal
Van Gaal delivers the final punchline.
After Depay, Sancho and Pogba have already established the Manchester United theme, Bezos proposing Van Gaal as Liverpool manager confirms that the mistake is not accidental.
Behind the Gag
The cartoon uses a simple escalation.
First, Bezos buys into Liverpool.
Then he sends the club a present.
The present turns out to contain three players with Manchester United connections.
Finally, Bezos suggests a former Manchester United manager as well.
The joke works because Bezos never appears to understand why anybody at Liverpool might object.
Football Meets Big Tech
The strip also plays with the idea of billionaire technology owners treating football clubs like another business acquisition.
Bezos approaches recruitment like an Amazon order.
A few clicks, one enormous parcel and the problem should be solved.
Football history, rivalries and supporter sentiment do not appear to have been included in the algorithm.
Looking Back
This Storybook episode takes Liverpool’s ownership speculation and pushes it into a science-fiction transfer market.
Mars provides the setting, Amazon provides the delivery system and Manchester United accidentally provides the shopping list.
By the final panel, Liverpool’s biggest concern is no longer what Bezos might buy next.
It is whether he has already clicked “confirm order”.
